I ONCE SAW A YOUTUBE VIDEO of a woman beating her baby. I was shocked by how calm she was. She wasn’t being forced; she wasn’t visibly angry or flustered. She sat with her back to the camera, punching, slapping and pinching—over and over while he screamed.
Why did I spend six minutes of my life watching as a child, who could not yet sit up by himself, was brutally beaten by his mother? Because he suffered, and I didn’t want to turn my face away from his suffering. Some might say that you don’t need to see it to know it exists. And while that is true, I felt that if he was hurting, the least I could do was hurt along with him. Somehow, by watching his pain, I was also acknowledging it. I have to tell you, the images of her hand coming down on his skin are ingrained in my memory, probably for as long as I live. He was too little to know that he was not supposed to be beaten. His mother’s harsh cruelty was his norm.
I will not forget him. I will not forget that people hurt each other, or that children suffer for the sins of their parents, and their parents before them. I will not forget that there are millions of people crying out for help at this very moment. It makes me feel hopeless … like I’m not enough.
To cope with this very aggressive reality, I started typing the first words of Marrow. Because if I could not take vengeance on behalf of that small child, I would have Margo do it for me. Margo and her poetic vengeance. I killed them all in this book: the rapists who took from my friends, the rotting sadists who hurt children, the takers of life, the killers of hope. I killed them and I enjoyed it. And while that makes me equally as corrupt—a murderess in my own right—we are what we think, after all.
I want to make it clear that I believe in justice both in this life and the next. I believe we ought fight for the hurting, open our eyes to suffering. Not just our own, but the suffering around us. Sometimes, by saving someone else, you save yourself a little as well. By loving someone else and expecting nothing in return, we learn to love ourselves and expect nothing in return. Perhaps it is the simple act of doing for others that makes us feel more valuable in our own skin.
I want to implore you not to hurt yourselves. Not to cut your skin, or swallow pills, or drink to drown pain. Not to hand yourselves over so easily to men for validation. Stop feeling useless and worthless. Stop drowning in regret. Stop listening to the persistent voice of your past failures. You were that child once, who Margo would have killed for. Fight for yourselves. You have a right to live, and to live well. You’ll inherit flaws; you’ll develop new ones. And that’s okay. Wear them, own them, use them to survive. Don’t kill others; don’t kill yourselves. Be bold about your right to be loved. And most importantly, don’t be ashamed of where you’ve come from, or the mistakes you’ve made. In blindness, love will exhume you.
I wrote Marrow for all of you who have been hurt, all of you who have been neglected. Because I wanted vengeance.
Sandy Borrero says
I loved it and have great admiration for your skill as a story teller. So many emotions went through me as I read Marrow.
Goosebumps that is all
Debi Crist says
Absolutely love your writing. Just finished Marrow… It was brilliant and I need some time to wrap my head around what I just read.
Tarryn,why is the paperback of Marrow unavailable on AmazonUS? 🙁
Just discovered you by accident. And what a great moment that was for me. Reading you is like reaching into extreme depth of human emotion. I intend to read all your books.
Once again I’m in love with your writing…. I can’t wait to read what you have to say… You have an amazing gift.
I am in awe of your writing and stories. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Your writing style never ceases to amaze me. You are an inspiration. Really, no one can make me feel and see the character as much as you. Although I would never go to the extremes Margo did but I got her side of the story and was in it the whole time. I must say thoug, I am yearning for another love story from you. I need my fix please. I want Caleb and Olivia reloaded. You’re amazing
marrow, sucked me in and took over from the very start. you have a way of making the readers connect with the characters, feeling the emotions and intensities as they go through them. you also have a way of totally messing with your readers heads, making us question our own sanity.
You are one of my favourite authors and I’ve read all of your novels. I’m currently halfway through Marrow. I hear you when it comes to avenging those without a voice. I have been in a situation were I have felt so beyond help and lacked the will to bring myself back into the reality that is life. I would love for you to instill in your readers, that not only is it important to not ignore the vile aspects of human nature but to embrace happy endings and that (I’d like to think and try every day) people are more good than bad, if given the chance to prove it.
Much love x
Thank you, this made me almost cry. I wish more people read this, it’s so vital and important for people to find perspective on suffering, guilt, and pain. Thank you.
Marrow, what an amazing book!! Once I started reading the book I was hooked. It brought me to so many different places in my life. Your writing is honestly the best I’ve ever read. Let me tell ya I’ve never been a reader until I found you. You leave me hungry for more and I cant wait for your next book. What will it be and when?
Very moving story. I will certainly read your other books.
Jon Ogden says
Just finished Marrow. Fantastic ! 5/5, 10,10, 100/100
Best book I have read in the past decade and I read a lot.
Jon in Kingston,Ontario,Canada
Absolutely love marrow. It’s speaks to me. I love marrow and I always will.
Absolutely love marrow. It’s speaks to me. I love marrow and I always will. Thank you for this book.
you truly are the god of pen and paper. I’ve officially read all your books and I feel like I’ve lived it all. so unpredictable. I love it!
I just love how you sneaked Senna Richards and the pink Zippo in there, oh and then Muslim Black into Fuck Love. Sneaky sneaky!
Mayıs Adalı says
Last night I finished reading Marrow and I found it quite mind-blowing. I think that yeah that must be the essence of Marrow; to love yourself with your flawless flaws and it is up to you to change yourself and not let people tell you what you can do or can’t. There is no point in battering your soul and thinking over and over those mistakes will not perish them from our lives. Well, everybody knows these couraging words but few really can dare. I can only thank you for reminding me what I sometimes forget. Nothing but these last words made me wanna cry, they were so real. I love you Syltherin, with a gentle crazy muggle heart.
I stumbled upon your work through Colleen Hoover whom I also adore. You are an amazing story teller, I often found myself with goosebumps while reading your words. I hope to one day be half as talented as you! I will be publishing my first book soon and what an amazing journey it has been.
THANK you for your words. I found your letter at the end of “Marrow ” to be exactly what i needed to hear today.. THANK YOU!